Oh blah.

::The Main Part::
For the longest time I haven't cared to read through a book.

Or see a movie for the 2nd time.

Or build a music playlist.

In fact, just about all I've been able to do is scour YouTube, looking for interviews of actors, directors, musicians. What makes them decide to create?

Everyone is creative of course, but our fears manifest themselves in unique ways.

{Ah. Even writing this, I can feel the critique. Self-created probably. Do these words sound timeless? Are they grand and simplistic enough? Are they boring and plain? Probably not.}

I've always thought that if I could simply make the best film I could make, or write the deepest song I could, I'd be a success. Not that I want to best others, but I need to reach my utmost potential. How can I grasp it? Can't you feel it surging through you body and mind? Stop for a moment. Just a minute. Why do you laugh? Why did you think it was a beautiful sunset? Why does the music carry you?

Here's the thing: I know my art is trash. To be learned in the technicalities would be utterly meaningless. To be "free-spirited" and nonchalant is meaningless. Everything is meaningless. Everything is forgotten. Everything is flawed. The apathetic is more efficient (he avoids wasting away years to learn the meaningless) but he too is forgotten.

I know what I enjoy, but I can't enjoy them. A cup of tea. Sitting outside. Oceans and mountains. Claude Debussy and strolling. They are good, but they are dead too. No satisfaction.

Reason visits my troubled mind, through a soft spot in my heart. "I'm glad my ambition is gone. It is good to have passion stifled. It is good to be disarmed. Disabled. Dead. There are many ways this can happen, and it is good."

{shh. the whisper. listen.}
"Be afraid. Tremble. Try to be who you really are. Fall. Don't complain at weakness. Don't cry because of the questions. I have answers. Watch Me. Come with Me."

Ideas will follow. Mistakes will too. Mistakes are like steps. They aren't real mistakes.

There's only one mistake: not listening to the whisper.


::The Ramble::
I have an idea... it's not a new one.
I like those old film trailers, with someone like the director/producer actually standing there, on screen, introducing the story. I miss the community. I miss the campfire storyteller. We should try to bring back those connections, those story introductions. The personal-ness. The personality. It's why I like watching behind the scenes. It's why I like making a movie more than watching it. It's why trilogies and TV series rock. It's why I like YouTubers. Oh yeah, and films/tv/short films need better music.

::The End::
Oh blah. I need to do the dishes now. Bye.

Get to Know Yourself.

Tonight, I am here to answer the question, "Who am I"? a question we all ask. Think I can't answer it? Well I can. So there.

For the past five hours or so, I've been researching various celebrities in the film and theater spheres. Of course the terms "top ten --- " do not necessarily yield absolute results, but at least they pointed me in a generally good direction. After watching interviews of Steven Spielberg, Meryl Streep and the like, I began to glimpse characteristics that were very simple, un-sophisticated and perhaps childish. These people just loved what they did, and yet there they are -- the glimmering pinnacles of the giant studios and institutions, larger than the average life of the average American wannabe.

And I thought,

"What am I going to be great at someday?"

It's never been a question of "will I?" but rather "what?". From some strange place I find an overwhelming optimism and self confidence. Though deterred at times by my stupidity, timidity or clumsy bravado (which has resulted in some less than "great" circumstances), confidence always has a way of popping up to save my day. If one were to catch a few sentences of my self-talk, it would go a little something like:

***WE JOIN "AMY'S MIND", ALREADY IN PROGRESS***

"-and of course I'll eventually be some acclaimed such-and-such. I feel it in my bones."

"And it's not for selfish reasons at all... in fact, my main reason for becoming whatever-it-is is simply to touch the lives of more people in a positive way... right?"

"Yes. Right. Now how to get there..."

"But where?"

"I DON'T KNOW! That's the whole reason I'm consulting you! THAT, AND THE FACT THAT I'M BEGINNING TO QUESTION MY INTENTIONS! Oh what do you care. Go conjure up some ridiculous memory of a dream you once had!

"FINE! I'll just leave you to Google meaningless searches like "is mayonnaise healthy?" or maybe "biggest celebrity feet"!!!!

"Hmph!"

"Hmph!"

-Silence-

"I did make a YouTube video the other day... It has 43 hits now."

"Oh splendid! I'm sure it'll be up to 1043 by next Summer!"

***

See what I mean? It's the reason I tend to promote things like it's goin' outta style. When I sense opportunity that jives with my current desires, I tell the whole globe! WITH A MEGAPHONE!

Hence, this blog.

So who are we anyways? And what are we going to do?

1) First, remind yourself that you are a human being. This alone can be difficult to admit, for the world would have us believe ourselves to be gods and goddesses, or on the alternative, animals. Fine then, what's a human being? Well, it's basically a thing that isn't just a thing. It's a person derived from the One who is beginning and ending, who is life and life-giver, and who creates. Why did he create us? Because He can. Because He's Him, and He is Love. To glorify Him. Really, I can't even begin to answer that question, just know that He loves you and wants you. The main thing is to get over the fear of this, and to humble yourself, because that's where all the trouble began in the first place, which leads on to number --

2) Apart from God, you're a damaged good. This is a result of us deciding that we are God. The problem is, we don't understand who we are, therefore, our "God" does not know what we should do nor can he help us find our answers. Sin makes no sense, God DOES make sense. Soooooo.... the only way to understand ourselves is to understand God.

3) Quit thinking so individually. I'm not suggesting for you to go on the extreme and simply follow the crowd because it's a crowd, but you need to realize that God created humans to interact with Him, and with each other. The analogy used in the Bible says it best: "Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it." - 1 Cor 12:27. When we fall in love with God and accept what he has for us by choosing to cast away our old selves, God takes us into His family and we are no longer bound for the punishment we had coming. Not only that, God begins to heal our hearts and minds so we can understand Him, so we can love Him, so we can love others, so we can understand ourselves. Interact with your fellow members on a deep level if you can. And treat those who don't know/understand Christ with the same manner that Christ offered to you, because we all have fallen short of the glory of God. My personal ambitions and worries keep me from doing the holy philanthropy that my soul craves because where there is pride there is no love. You do not exist to be alone.

4) Make it a number one priority to get to know God better.

5) Listen and be obedient. The closer you are to God, the better you will be at discerning His voice.

6) Be patient. Life is not a microwave, it's a seed and sunshine and plenty of water and time. Why is it this way? Time is an illusion, or rather a temporary barrier. When you operate by broken methods, time exists because you have limits. God has no limits. However, he does have order, and so there will be seasons in life. "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven." - Ecclesiasties 3:1. God is always on the move, so if something in your life calls for patience, realize that you need to switch gears.

7) Ask Him. Don't know what to do? Have a frustration? Need something? Ask. He'll answer. It amazes me how He cares. The other night I got a flat tire. I'm not too rich, and so I started to worry a bit because the tire was toast. Also, it was cold and dark, and those lug nuts were tight. All I think was think in my head, "God, can you send someone?" And in about 45 seconds a man from a local church showed up, put on my donut for me, provided some interesting conversation about some connections he had in the film industry and gave me a free spare tire. Now, are all prayers answered like this? Eh... no. Some take years because of other unseen things. But the Teacher knows best, and he's more than willing to help.

Anyways, it's 8:24pm, and I really need to make a sandwich now. Now that all your problems are solved and questions are answered, I think I can pull myself from my computer. As for my destiny? Who knows. I still think that my interests in acting, music and film will stay with me. And, I still feel confident in the horizon, but I need to work on where I'm drawing my confidence from.... aka I need to stop relying so much on me and more on Him. I think that's why He answered my prayer like He did with the tire incident. Sounds like something He would do... (by the way, He has a great sense of humor).

Take care.

Man + Woman = Fire

If woman is the match, man is the matchbox. Woman is flint, man is steel. Putting two together, under the right circumstances, will create a flame, and this flame can be a funny little flicker , it can be a warm fire, or a devastating blaze.

~~~~~~~~~~

Proverbs 30:18-19

¹⁸ There are three things which are too wonderful for me,
Yes, four which I do not understand:
¹⁹ The way of an eagle in the air,
The way of a serpent on a rock,
The way of a ship in the midst of the sea,
And the way of a man with a virgin.

~~~~~~~~~~

Every time you flirt, every time you touch, spend time together ect ect, you are increasing the chances of a spark. Sure, maybe there won't be a spark - but every time you do something that in one way or another makes you closer to an individual of the opposite sex, you are increasing those chances.

Marriage should be like a campfire. A boy / girl friendship might be a sweet candle. A sex-driven dating relationship is like a wildfire that destroys everything it touches, hence the command "flee from youthful lusts". Giving into youthful lusts is like standing in the middle of gasoline-saturated dry hay with a flamethrower. These fires are very different, and some are simply dangerous.

And you can still get burnt by a candle flame (or the candle could tip over and burn your house down). And that campfire? You better be taking good care of it or it's going to go out and the nights will suddenly become long and cold. No s'mores for you.

Be careful with fire, and don't start one unless you understand this. And ladies, let the fella focus initiating the sparks, you need to focus more on preparing the kindling (aka stop chasing boys trying to light them up! Guys, be a man and don't start something you can't take care of properly!)

~~~~~~~~~~

Proverbs 30:15b -16

There are three things that are never satisfied,
Four never say, “Enough!”:
¹⁶ The grave,
The barren womb,
The earth that is not satisfied with water—
And the fire never says, “Enough!”

TUBEDAY : "Baby Attack Ad"

Ok guys, I know it's late for a Tuesday post (6:30pm...). HEY. I HAVE A JOB OK?!

Anyhow, to make it up to you, here's a video

Video: "Baby Attack Ad"
YouTuber: "RamseyBrosPictures"
Style: Mock political ad

This tactic really isn't too far from the truth. Quote from video description: "You can make anything sound bad with an attack ad." Nice editing on this one.

(Disclaimer** "RamseyBrosPictures" did not tell me to post this, and I do not know him personally. Review posts are only intended to recommend a single video, not necessarily a channel as a whole. )

TUBEDAY: "Catch a Whisper by the Tail"

Video: "Catch a Whisper by the Tail"
YouTuber: "JoelandBerry" (you may know him as trailer park blogger Tavin Dillard from the channel "Sweetteafilms")
Style: Retro music video

Ever seen a cheesy music video from the 70's? This video really has a way of transporting you back in time (although I wasn't alive back then...). Almost Napoleon Dynamite esq, "Bun Treadwell"'s inspirational ballad will have you buying two - maybe three - copies of his latest album.

It's Tubeday!

Hi kids! It's time for a rousing chorus of "YEEAAYYYYYY!!! VIDEOS TIMES!!!" I'm going to start posting video reviews every Tuesday and Thursday for your entertainment pleasure.

Today's Video is....
"Professor Turkey"
(Random humored home-video)

This video is best viewed when one is exhausted, and, this video has nothing to do with turkey. It is a classic example of a "home-video" type sketch, and was probably recorded on an old RCA VHS recorder, and later dug out of a box of droopy-labeled tapes. Posted in 2006, "Turkey" came to YouTube when the company was a wee babe, and hadn't yet been turned into the mainstream beast it is today.

Enjoy your turkey.

(Disclaimer** "Andyc140" did not tell me to post this, and I do not know him personally. I am only recommending the single video, not his channel as a whole. )

The Sickness of Embarrassment

Why does embarrassment strike us at times, as if by a snake? The heart soon experiences a sickening, stifling squeeze. Our intoxicated blood burns with stinging venom.

Quickly, hide the evidence! Clear the browsing history! A verbal defense at the very least!

As if that would perfect us.

Silly victim, you only exacerbate the wound. And the teeth marks? They are yours. What do you value? What do you hold high? If it is not capable of defending itself, then why worship this THING? These THINGS?

I find myself wincing each time my flesh falls down - this earthly frame in which I find myself "treading water" as they say. I want to be perfect. I want to be perfectly beautiful, perfectly fit, perfectly witty, perfectly knowledgeable, perfectly wise. Perfect in musical abilities, perfectly hilarious, perfectly blah blah blah and blah with a little bit of blabbly blah on the side. And where does this leave me? Well. Imperfect. Even by my own "standards" I am no good.

So God replies, "Let me take you, and I'll show you what perfection is." Faithfully he administers His healing potion to my bruised feet, and soon, my entire body is restored.

"Walk on this path, and the snakes won't be able to reach you."

I take His outstretched hand and begin to walk. He smiles, and with a grand breath and the might of His arms, He bursts forth a path out of the boulders and rubble that surround me. We walk.

-----

Basically : Next time you feel embarrassed about something, stop. Take a deep breath. Grab onto His hand, because sometime before you had loosened your grip and had gone running with the snakes. Don't do that. You'll get bitten.