Oh blah.

::The Main Part::
For the longest time I haven't cared to read through a book.

Or see a movie for the 2nd time.

Or build a music playlist.

In fact, just about all I've been able to do is scour YouTube, looking for interviews of actors, directors, musicians. What makes them decide to create?

Everyone is creative of course, but our fears manifest themselves in unique ways.

{Ah. Even writing this, I can feel the critique. Self-created probably. Do these words sound timeless? Are they grand and simplistic enough? Are they boring and plain? Probably not.}

I've always thought that if I could simply make the best film I could make, or write the deepest song I could, I'd be a success. Not that I want to best others, but I need to reach my utmost potential. How can I grasp it? Can't you feel it surging through you body and mind? Stop for a moment. Just a minute. Why do you laugh? Why did you think it was a beautiful sunset? Why does the music carry you?

Here's the thing: I know my art is trash. To be learned in the technicalities would be utterly meaningless. To be "free-spirited" and nonchalant is meaningless. Everything is meaningless. Everything is forgotten. Everything is flawed. The apathetic is more efficient (he avoids wasting away years to learn the meaningless) but he too is forgotten.

I know what I enjoy, but I can't enjoy them. A cup of tea. Sitting outside. Oceans and mountains. Claude Debussy and strolling. They are good, but they are dead too. No satisfaction.

Reason visits my troubled mind, through a soft spot in my heart. "I'm glad my ambition is gone. It is good to have passion stifled. It is good to be disarmed. Disabled. Dead. There are many ways this can happen, and it is good."

{shh. the whisper. listen.}
"Be afraid. Tremble. Try to be who you really are. Fall. Don't complain at weakness. Don't cry because of the questions. I have answers. Watch Me. Come with Me."

Ideas will follow. Mistakes will too. Mistakes are like steps. They aren't real mistakes.

There's only one mistake: not listening to the whisper.


::The Ramble::
I have an idea... it's not a new one.
I like those old film trailers, with someone like the director/producer actually standing there, on screen, introducing the story. I miss the community. I miss the campfire storyteller. We should try to bring back those connections, those story introductions. The personal-ness. The personality. It's why I like watching behind the scenes. It's why I like making a movie more than watching it. It's why trilogies and TV series rock. It's why I like YouTubers. Oh yeah, and films/tv/short films need better music.

::The End::
Oh blah. I need to do the dishes now. Bye.